Weddings, the Time Machine
If you want to time travel, go to a wedding.
Around this time last week, I sat at a table of 10. At a wedding.
Supposedly the year was 2015. It felt like 2004. Or 2007. Or 2010.
That's the beauty of weddings. They're time machines.
Back in 2004, a group of us became friends in college. Depending on how you defined "the group," it eventually ballooned to encompass about 16 total people by 2007. We were all individuals, with our own unique personalities and quirks. But if you got about six or seven of us together, you had a quorum, and 'The Dynamic' would take form.
'The Dynamic' was predictable. It's like it's own culture. There are certain topics that are guaranteed to be discussed. Phrases you could pluck from a hat. Usually a ridiculous dance. Sometimes board games. Or stories about old board games. Dinner nights. Lengthy discussions about relationships. The morals of relationships. Reminiscing. Lots of reminiscing—"Remember when..."
Over the years, the group met up less and less frequently. It's to be expected, really. People go about their lives, doing their own thing and pursuing their own dreams.
Sometimes the group got together for a random vacation trip. Or a visit to someone's house. Each time you got a different selection of 'the group.' This also makes sense. People's schedules change, and sometimes people are living outside the country (exhibit A, me).
But if there's one thing that will always reunite the whole crew, it's when someone gets married. Even better when two people within the group get married.
And when the whole group is there, you can bet 'The Dynamic' is also back in full force.
It's amazing that in 10 years, some people change a lot. Some people, are more or less the same. Others, you sense have changed under the surface, but appear oddly similar up front.
But at a wedding, none of this matters. It's like the great equalizer. The entire group goes back to the exact state we were more than 10 years ago. 'The Dynamic' returns and here we are, talking about all the usual topics, making the same jokes, and living like we just turned...20.
I don't know why weddings are so good at this time travel thing. Maybe it's the dance floor, where the songs might be different, but are they really? Everyone is still throwing their hands up singing "'cause the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate hate," like we used to, just with different lyrics.
And then there's drinking. Another great equalizer. That's great for drawing out all the reminiscing. All the same one-liners. Bringing out old records for who won and lost the most board games.
"All hail the Queen of Catan!"
That brings back memories.
And then there's the "okay let's wind down discussions," which, because we've time traveled to college, are all the exact same topics you expect. What are you going to do with your life? What's next for you? Where are you moving to?
And of course, my favorite, the "who's getting married next" game.
"You, then Dan second, and then third, fourth, fifth," someone said, pointing to various people standing in a circle.
I feel like we've done this before, and not very long ago. Where we go around and list eligible traits of every non-married person of the group and why they deserve to be married right now. I guess it's been a few years. Some of us have dated in between, but for some reason we're all back at the exact same square one.
Like I said, weddings are a great equalizer.
Because right now, it's 2004 and we all might as well be in an on-campus apartment discussing marriage potential.
Or in 2006, when we were at a cabin in Yosemite having a dance party.
Or in 2008, when we got together in a house on a lonely town in the San Francisco Peninsula and played board games.
Or 2015.
Until the next wedding.